This can sometimes be tricky. This may seem obvious, but the best way to approach someone is to say hello, say your name to them and ask for their name. This is actually more socially acceptable than we think, especially at a college or university.
Another way is to ask something about it and ask questions about it at the moment. For example, if they were looking at an event poster, you could ask them, “Hey, is there anything funny in that event? Are you going to go? ”
You can also ask about shared experiences. For example, you can ask them how they like to stay away from college.
Asking simple follow-up questions can help inform interest and engage the other person. For example, if they talk about the classroom they’re taking, “How do you like it?” You can ask the following question. If they talk about a hobby or sport, you might respond: “How long have you been doing that? What do you like about it? ”
It is helpful to hear what they say without interrupting or adding to many personal opinions. You can then add statements to match how they feel about it.
For example, “Looks like you did some good work to learn how to do it” or “I’m glad you entered the classroom you wanted.” These can be very simple but go a long way to show that you are interested in learning more about them.
Loneliness is very common in college or university.
Loneliness happens more often because it can be difficult to experience sudden changes, such as being away from family or friends. It can also be difficult to become self-sufficient without constant, direct personal support from a parent or caregiver.
There are some ways to balance studies by making social connections.
Try to set study time as a few blocks and reserve time for social. Social time may include specific events where people can devote time to meeting or spending time with some people.
You can combine the study with making social connections. For example, you can see if a potential friend or group of friends might want to study together. This is a great way to open up important social connections in your study. Your “study friends” should be able to introduce you to others.
Kada definitely! Many other students are in the same situation.
The setup of college campuses or college towns provides great places to make friends without alcohol because there are many social tasks that do not involve alcohol.
Some ideas to consider:
- Joining university organizations that are related to your interests, such as drama clubs or sports and music organizations
- Going to university-sponsored programs on campus, most of which don’t offer alcohol or emphasize
- Coffee shop or chatting in dorm areas
The best way to get in touch with someone you meet is to propose some specific activity at a particular time that you want to do together or with a group. Some possible ideas include:
- Going to a sports game
- I saw drama on campus
- Participating in free events on campus such as movie nights
You can then ask for their contact information to plan the details.
If you don’t find something specific right away, you can offer to hang out at some point and ask for their contact information. You can then text them, suggesting something to do.
You can also send texts on the things they have proposed to you. For example, “How did that test go?” “What happened with the intramural game?” “You want to study this Thursday [insert time and place]! ”
This is a challenging situation and not common.
First, you are not doing anything wrong because there is usually no “right” way to go about social interactions. Not making permanent connections can happen for many reasons.
For feedback on your specific situation, you can try visiting your university counseling center, where you can talk to a counselor who understands the common challenges in college.
Making connections is about doing things that help your goals in a balanced way, and doing things that inhibit those goals.
For example, if your goal is to spend more time with another person, but you never contact the other person to propose activities, you are unlikely to reach your goal.
Instead, making some effort to propose specific activities while allowing the other person to accept or disapprove is a great way to work towards the purpose of creating social connections.
Shyness and introversion are actually quite common. And the good news is that you don’t have to change your personality!
There is evidence that introverts still enjoy close interpersonal relationships and seek closeness. Introverts communicate well with other introverts, which is still a significant playground.
One thing that makes people uncomfortable when meeting others is how much a person disagrees. Still, this effect is only really pronounced when both people disagree.
Older research suggests that, regardless of personality, it is possible to construct a set of individual behaviors to help cultivate mutual intimacy.
In this case “real” may be a more subjective word.
Extensive research has found that personal support is one of the most important predictors of positive well-being.
However, research has found that having friends online can help
For example, do these online relationships provide you with a real and supportive or do you want to have more personal social contact?
If you find that you want more personal interactions and feelings of intimacy, then it may be helpful to seek out more personal contacts.
Dr. Matt Boland is a licensed clinical psychologist who conducts structured assessment and psychotherapy with medical patients and mental health clients in Reno, Nevada. He conducts original research on post-traumatic stress and emotion regulation in medical disorders and teaches university courses on related topics.