Welcome to Declassified, the comedy column of the week.
As a fully paid member of the Metropolitan Liberal Elite, I often sit around the villa and suck a glass of Weave Clickcoat and decide what to do with all the money that burns a hole in my pocket and what this cost-of-living crisis is. Talk is all about.
If you’re in a similar bond, look at some of the ways you can spend your money with FT’s “How to Spend It” supplement but with less Bugatis and yachts and more dick jokes. (““How to Spend It,” as some rich readers have noticed, is rebranded as HTSI – and if you have HTSI, I recommend visiting the clinic for some soothing ointment).
However, there are plenty of ways to spend your money if you really want to. One lucky man went to dinner with Boris Johnson and his two predecessors, Theresa May and David Cameron, this week donating a cool £ 120,000 to the UK Conservative Party.
The sentence – sorry, the prize – was auctioned off at Tory Bash at the V&A Museum in London. That dinner can be awkward for a variety of reasons, most notably Johnson and Cameron have repeatedly clashed, and Johnson (metaphorically) spat in front of May when he was prime minister.
Of course, £ 120,000 is a drop in the ocean when it comes to giving cash to political parties or election candidates. In the US last month, Democrat-backed Sam Bankman-Fried said he could spend $ 1 billion or more in the 2024 election, which would make him the biggest political donor in a single US election. Even though Bankman-Fried makes his money in cryptocurrency, he may want to wait before writing any checks Then $ 1.28.
Another way to spend all the extra money is to check in the property market. As revealed by POLITICO, the EU’s diplomatic arm is planning to buy the New York mansion for more than € 20 million.
Perhaps the most striking thing about the recently renovated Upper East Side home is that it is the basis for the head of the EU delegation to the United Nations in New York, which is a purple and brown Union Jack carpet in one room. However, there is a sign that says “Dead end” in that room, which begs the question: Is this a Brexit-themed room? Is the frame blue passport just out of shot? And at a nearby coffee table, is there a hardback (and unread) version of the withdrawal agreement?
“Seriously! We all agree that we wear the colors of Ukraine. Now I look like a fool.
Can you do better? Email [email protected] Or on Twitter @pdallisonesque
We gave you this photo last week:
Thanks for all the entries. Here’s the best from our postbag – there’s no prize other than a gift of laughter, which I think we can all agree is more valuable than cash or drink.
“He’s holding the world with his hands! What a coincidence!” By Giovanni Selini.
Paul Dollison PoliticsSlot News Editor.